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Writer's Block: Trick or treat  
10:24pm 24/10/2010
Do you plan to dress up this year? If so, who or what are you going to be?

I dress up all month long working for my Haunt(Haunted Attraction, eg. Haunted House).

This year I am playing the character of Davishuala at Harrodsburg Haunted House.
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Too much on plate, Need more time!  
04:01am 14/09/2010
No I am not dead, nor did I wander off the planet for a time. Just been hermitting. Between 40 hours a week at job, 12 at school, obligations of the haunting season, and  personal interests I just haven't been thinking about lj.

Classes have been fun, English 111 is proving to be the most challenging. Math 023 is the easiest as it is primarily review of things I have simply "forgotten". Acounting 101 is next easiest followed by Basic Computing(I fogot the number). None are particularly frustrating so far though. I expect that will change in a year though when I get into the higher level math. Next semester I am considering public speaking, that should drive me to distraction.

I find myself thinking about romance alot, and not always concerning my book, but also in my personal life. I'm not sure where I'm headed in that direction, my dream home is shifting between being empty and being filled with people who are only there temporarily. Basically I am seeing myself as a batchelor in the long term again. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but its almost like a homecoming to feel alone again. I have decided its time for a change agan, new hairstyle is in order. Towards that goal I have enlisted the aid of a couple of my regulars. They aren't very helpful so far though. But they have promised to think about it and get back to me. Hopefully I will have a definate concept in the next week. Dating is a frightening proposition, I haven't been in the dating game for years, I'm a bit rusty. However I am no longer willing to simply sit and wait for the next relationship to fall in my lap. So this time I am choosing to be proactive.

Aside from that things are looking pretty good. I don't recall a time when the future looked so hopefull, which probably means something is going to go horribly wrong soon, but I will deal with that when it comes. I am not going to allow the opurtunities in front of me to go to waste.
mood: determineddetermined
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Letting Go  
05:44am 07/08/2010
 The final stage of post break-up depression, is for me the hardest (though not the most painful). I've never been good at letting go, which is why I find it easy to remain friends. Though the fact that I don't require sex to love and cherish someone helps with that as well.

However this time remaining friends seems to be not an option, not surprising really given the circumstances. So letting go, hard to do, but I will make it through and be stronger for the experience. I will try not to allow myself to become less trusting of others again this time, that's been a result in the past when I had to let go of someone.

The worst part is that this is when the loneliness truly settles back in and I start to feel like I will never be rid of it again. I know that's wrong, and I have only to think of the several dear and amazing friends who have been there for me in the past three weeks to know that I will never be truly alone. Unfortunately it tends to gnaw at me as I'm laying down to sleep, when everyone I know is unreachable for one reason or another. But I have dealt with that off and on for most of my life, I will remember how to cope again.

So there you are, a small update on how I'm doing. Still alive, still fighting for my sanity and well-being. Love you all, thanks for the support. Hopefully good news next. 

Oh, here's one small bit, I start class in just a couple weeks. Going for an AAS in Business Management.
mood: depresseddepressed
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07:03am 04/08/2010

Your result for Awakening the Hero Within: Hero Archetype Test...

You are the Sage

17% Innocent, 38% Orphan, 58% Warrior, 38% Caregiver, 71% Seeker, 63% Lover, 54% Destroyer, 75% Creator, 52% Magician, 63% Ruler, 83% Sage and 63% Fool!

Goal: Truth

Fear: Deception

Response to Dragon/Problem: Transcend it

Task:  Attain enlightenment

Gift:  Wisdom, non-attachment

Addictions: Being right, tranquilizers

Sages have little or no need to control or change the world; they just want to understand it. The Sage’s path is the journey to find out the truth– about ourselves, our world, and the universe. However, it is not simply about finding knowledge, but about becoming wise. The challenge of the Sage is to decode the clue and solve the underlying riddle of existence. They seek to cultivate and attitude of dispassionate reflection so that they can experience real truth. The Sage merely watches the action, while looking for the underlying truth.  

Shadow Sage:

The Shadow Sage is not so much unattached as cut off from reality. S/he is so obsessed by non-attachment that s/he cannot commit to people, projects, or ideas. Sometimes a Negative Sage deludes her/himself with the idea that his provides him/her with freedom, but s/he is not free at all. The negative Sage is addicted to being perfect and truthful and right and has no tolerance of normal human feelings or vulnerabilities. Such a Sage often tends towards ascetic practices and constantly derides the self or others for any sign of not being perfect.

Shadow Sages also tend to try to make the world seem less mysterious by limiting the number of acceptable ways of perceiving reality. Such individuals are also incapable of acknowledging the way that their own subjective biases colour their supposedly rational findings. Shadow Sages typically want to control knowledge in such a way that it is not threatening by focusing on a style that correspond to their learning style. Knowledge, then, becomes a way of showing superiority to others. Their primary focus thus becomes not on the attainment of wisdom itself, but on the evaluation of others. Whatever relative truth they have discovered is identified with absolute truth, and their primary focus is in guarding this truth from assaults by the barbarians.


Take Awakening the Hero Within: Hero Archetype Test at OkCupid

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Famous Monsters Weekend  
12:33pm 12/07/2010
 Sweet Satanic puppy chow, so much to see and do there!
We showed up Friday a bit before 2:0pm. Got our staff shirts and went right to work till 10:00pm.

I got to see and experience a bit of the show though not as much as I would have liked. But I did meet Sal Lizard, whom you probably haven't heard of. I hadn't at the time. He is a prolific actor but hasn't done anything "big" he is best known for his roles as Santa Claus and Evil Santa (with fangs). As well as Ed Glae who some of you might remember as "Chucky" or perhaps as "Howard the Duck".

There were many celebs I'll try to list them all I got to meet and chat with most of them. Let's see...

Kane Hodder "Jason"
Mark Hampton 
Kyra Schon Night of the Living Dead original
John Russo Night of the Living Dead original (writer)
Ken Sagoes
Terrence Zdounich
Amelia Kinkaid
G-Tom Mac
Tom Savini
Bridgette Marquette
Tony Todd "Candyman"
Ernie Hudson "Winston" Ghostbusters

OK thats not nearly all of them but it's the ones I can remember right now. If you want the rest just check out the website. Thomas Jane couldn't make it as he had a funeral to attend.

So yeah, picked uyp a few things made some new friends etc. All in all a blast of a weekend. Hope you all had as much fun as I did!
mood: ecstaticecstatic
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Send a Little Love (Script Going In)  
08:19am 25/06/2010
My first movie script goes to see the producers today!

Send love, luck, prayers, happy thoughts. Whatever.
mood: hopefulhopeful
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Famous Monsters  
06:20pm 24/04/2010
Famous Monsters, which some of you may reckognize as a magazine of many years, is running a convention. Indianapolis will host one in July the 9th-11th. Visit www.famousmonstersconvention.com for all the tasty details.

If you are a fan of horror at all you should come. Meet some of your favorite actors/actresses, as well as various others from the industry, and of course our fellow fans.

Hope to see you all there.
mood: ecstaticecstatic
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Proud of Myself!  
06:17pm 24/04/2010
So I had an odd sort of day Friday.

Most of my peeps were too busy to chat or hang, thus I was feeling lonely and rejected. Yes I know it was illogical to feel that way given the circumstances, but feelings don't follow logic. So no apologies needed.

Despite that, I managed to remain in a good mood, most of the day.

yay for progress towards being happy all the time instead of just sometimes!

mood: accomplishedaccomplished
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Writer's Block: Seven  
11:32am 07/03/2010
Which of the seven deadly sins—sloth, greed, lust, gluttony, anger, envy, and pride—are you most likely to commit?

Do I really have to pick just one? I mean come on they are all so wonderful.

Sloth: Come on, who doesn't like being lazy now and again. The trick is to not allow it to rule your life.  Use it, be lazy when time permits, go a few days without cleaning the house and experience the liberation. Besides it feels so much better to have a clean house when it's been a mess for a week.

Greed: Please, how are we going to get the economy to come back around without greed? Greed is just the desire for more than we have now, do I want more? Of course I do! I'm damn near living on food stamps, so hell yes I want more.

Lust: Now how would I even be here if it weren't for lust? Answer...I wouldn't be. Do I enjoy it? Of course I do, who doesn't enjoy the feeling of desire for the partner, or the knowledge that they are desired by their partner. Then of course there is the simple act of sating that desire, a joy to experience. 

Gluttony: Ok I don't really get into this one very much although I do in some respects. Generally this refers to food, but ultimately it means more of overindulgence. Indulgence I dearly enjoy, as does everyone who bothers to be honest with themselves. Seriously we all like chocolate, or other sweet things; silk, linen, cotton, or other such soft clothing. Whats not to be indulged in? Excepting of course anything that is hurtful to others.

Anger: Ok I don't really indulge this one a lot either. Most anger makes me nervous, but there are times when it is very appropriate. So when it is I do engage, although mostly I get mad at video games and such rather than people. When I do get angry with a person or situation I use it as a gauge to tell me whats wrong so I know what needs attention.

Envy: This one sits right next to greed. Envy is just the desire for what someone else has. With most things that's not even an issue, if I want a playstation like the guy next door, I can go to the electronics store and buy one. If I want a new car there's a store for that too. It becomes a problem when you want something that is unique, for example your neighbors spouse. Fortunately I don't engage in that manner of envy, just the envy of station and power, or money. As with greed I want more than I currently have and I see no problem with that. Again I'm rather poor so wanting more than just barely enbough to live on isn't saying much.

Pride: Seriously? What's wrong with loving myself? I went through too many years of people saying that I wasn't worth loving to listen to anyones bullshit on the subject now. I love myself and you can fuck off if you don't agree with me. If you don't love yourself you can never really love anyone else, so why would I want to not love myself. Simple I wouldn't not if I have any sense, which thankfully I do. So yes Pride is my friend and I carry it well.
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Writer's Block: A political affair  
10:47pm 02/03/2010
Do you think the public has a legitimate right to know about a politician’s personal/romantic life? When, if ever, do you think a politician’s personal history is relevant to his/her ability to perform in office?

The answer to this question is in my opinion very simple: NEVER no one has a right to know what I do with my personal life why would I hold a politician to be any different. They deserve their privacy just as much as we do.

On the second issue it's a little murkier, I don't feel that anyone has the right to hold a persons history against them because we change over time. However our history does help to define who we are in subtle ways therefore it will affect how they perform but would not affect wether they can perform.
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